One lawyer’s personal perspective on why lawyers quit – or want to quit – and how to handle feelings of loss, inadequacy, and especially failure.
By James Gray Robinson, Esq.
When I quit practicing law in 2004 after 27 years of being an attorney, I felt like I had failed my parents, my family, and myself. I couldn’t take it anymore; the practice of a general trial lawyer had ceased being the adventure of a white knight and had become the nightmare of a palace dwarf.
As a third-generation trial attorney with a father who the New York Times once called a “legendary trial attorney,” the expectations for me were set incredibly high. I had started spectacularly with honors and accolades but had ended with lawsuits and ethical complaints. I was eventually vindicated of all of the charges, but it was too late in the game to change my mind.
What happened to that dream, the quest, the oath? After years of self-analysis, I discovered the following about why lawyers quit practicing law.
9 Reasons Why Lawyers Quit Practicing Law
1. We are Only Happy When We Win.
I strove to succeed and when life happened (as John Lennon famously sang: “Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.”) I felt like a failure. Actually, I was building a reputation for uniqueness and character which echoes whenever I go home, but it didn’t feel that way when my life was in shambles. I very rarely lost a winnable case, but the ones I lost would haunt me for months and years. It didn’t matter if I did an extraordinary job. If I didn’t have a complete slam dunk win, I considered myself a failure.
2. Without Support, We Stop Believing in Ourselves.
I couldn’t carry my ego, my family, and my law firm indefinitely. Law firms should have cheerleading sessions to validate and support themselves and to recognize individual accomplishments – both professional and individual. We are either a part of a greater whole or we are isolated – like a candle burning brightly that that flames out and dies when the wind blows. We either support each other, or we watch individuals burn out and quit. I started believing that because life wasn’t cooperating, I needed to find another line of work.
3. We Focus on the One Thing We Do Wrong – not the 999 Things We Do Right.
I could not remember the multimillion-dollar verdicts and settlements, I only thought about the lost summary judgment motions or other adverse rulings. Ironically, in my last trial, I won a million-dollar verdict on a contingency fee and quit shortly thereafter. I didn’t feel validated by the wins, I felt a failure for the losses.
4. We Believe We are the Weak Link in a Strong Chain.
I could only think of the way I could not live up to my expectations. I was the fifth producer in a firm of 30 lawyers, and I felt like a failure. There were four lawyers who produced more than me and two of them were my father and brother. I believed that the fact that I was not producing more was evidence that I was a failure.
5. We Fear Failure More than We Desire Success.
Most of my career was focused on failure control. I had multiple huge verdicts but the cases I lost made me feel like a failure even though I was producing millions in a litigation firm. I lost more sleep over the “long shots” than I could ever gain with the sure winners. Lawyers have to remember what they have accomplished for their clients and forget adverse results.
6. We Feel Inadequate when We Inevitably Lose an Unwinnable Case.
Anyone who lives in the judicial system for a while learns that success has more to do with picking your cases than your character and integrity. I had both character and integrity and the respect of my peers (AV rated in Martindale-Hubbell) but felt inadequate because I didn’t have a 100%-win rate. I acknowledge the fact that I took a number of cases because I felt I was good enough to win even though the cases weren’t winnable. The legal system is pretty unforgiving sometimes.
7. We View Failing to Win Every Case as the Signal to Quit.
I have had a wonderful time in life since I quit practicing law. However, I always wonder what I could have achieved if I had applied some of the Eastern philosophy I have learned when I was practicing law. I made the decision to quit because I didn’t win every case and therefore I believed I wasn’t a very good lawyer. In retrospect that was not accurate at all. I wish I had the mindset that I was performing a service and not just looking for victory. That is not how I was trained. The biggest lie lawyers tell themselves is that losing equals failure.
8. We Think We are not “Enough.”
I was a substance abuse counselor. I coached kids’ teams, I trained horses to be support-animals for special-ed kids. I volunteered for everything. I was on the board of multiple charitable organizations. I was a counselor for the State Bar helping addicted lawyers. I won awards for my pro bono work. I was a deacon in the Southern Baptist Church. Instead of acknowledging these successes, I focused on my losses in court and believed I was not enough.
9. We Take Losses and Disagreements Personally.
Many times, I took on cases which in hindsight were impossible to win. My ego told me that I could win these cases with sheer willpower, but unfortunately (or fortunately) that is not how the judicial system operates. When a judge disagreed with me, I took it personally and I felt I had done something wrong. It only took a few of these to convince me I needed to quit.
You Don’t Have to Quit Practicing Law
There are many reasons why lawyers quit practicing law. My purpose in sharing my story is to give lawyers who are wondering if they should quit some perspective. I have compassion for those who are going through the dark night of their soul like I did when I decided to stop working as an attorney. I also recognize that someone saying “Snap out of it!” to another person is heartless advice. Recognizing that the world does not have enough lawyers, last year, I took and passed the State Bar exam in the state where I now live. Perhaps I didn’t have to quit practicing family law after all… We shall see what life will bring.
James Gray Robinson, Esq. was a third-generation trial attorney, specializing in family law, for 27 years in his native North Carolina up until 2004. Since then he has become an individual and business consultant who works with a wide range of people, professional organizations, and leading corporations. At the age of 64, he passed the Oregon bar exam and is again a licensed attorney. www.JamesGrayRobinson.com
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17 Comments
Ofelia
Mr. Robinson your article came at a very poignant time of my life. After retiring from a wonderful and rewarding career with the federal courts, I decided to open my own office and assist undocumented immigrants pro bono. Then Trump happened and there has been very little I can do to “win” cases for immigrants. Immigration law changes from one day to the next. It has been very disheartening to say the least. I was seriously considering closing my practice. After reading you article, I may hang in there a little longer. If I am objective, the past six years have not been so bad. You are correct. We tend to focus more on our “losses” than on how well we have done the job for our clients. At 67, I feel I can touch so many more lives. Thank you.
Jimbo
Undocumented immigrants? Real immigrants have documents, illegal non resident aliens don’t.
Gray Robinson
Thank you Ofelia!
Merritt
Thank you, I have continued practicing through cancer and injury. I just feel it is getting to be time to find something less stressful.
I applaud those who are able to keep bouncing back and serving with character and honor.
Jeff Scheiner
I like and feel your pain and understand completely. Fortunately for me, I have been a California licensed attorney for 27 years where I taught thousands of law school grads how to take and pass the MBE component of their respective bar exams. This was an insurmountable and fulfilling way to avoid going to court and dealing with clients etc. I have taught in over 88 law schools across the country and now find myself unable to do what I have been so grateful and respected. It’s all internet preparation now! These law grads today can’t sit through a 3 or 6 hour lecture. It’s bewildering and I consult with Bay Area law school deans etc and explain this simple reason for why pass rates are so low and morale non existent- I now draft wills and trusts in Sonoma county and struggle with competition from do it yourself outfits! It’s time to review life I think. Maybe move to Florida and get a horse farm in Wellington. Maybe just be a bum and go fishing every day and contemplate how nice it is to be away from the law altogether? Any ideas or strategies are welcome- I just remind myself to breathe deep and be happy for my family. Wisdom is always appreciated- cheers
Robert
After 34 years of successful practice it seems to me that we general trial lawyers, at least those of us that have gained vast knowledge from having tried so many different types of cases in which we had to acquire specific knowledge of the subject matters in order to be able try each case, have become relics. One of the first questions I am frequently asked is ” What is my specialty”? I hate that question. I don’t have specialty, other than a meticulous knowledge of evidence law that gives me a frequent courtroom advantage. I can try almost any type of civil matter, so where’s the specialization there? I got fed up, litigants are not interested in ideals, only in “outcomes”. Judges are younger than me and often ask me to “educate” them on technical points. Then you lose a winnable case and don’t sleep for days wondering what you could have done differently. I decided to quit. 34 years was long enough for a person to do only one thing. I wanted something else for the “next” part of my life. It took me two years to extricate myself from my practice and from my cases and clients. Now I can deal with own life problems and emotions instead of those of the clients that paid me to deal with theirs.
P.S. I haven’t looked back and I’m fine!
Sara
Please is there anyone who can help me? I am in Arkansas and my kids need help! Please… I don’t have the money to hire a lawyer and their father is a bad man with a really “good” lawyer. blesstheeverything@gmail.com
Martha Chan
I would suggest that you contact the bar association in Arkansas to see if they can suggest any legal aids and lawyers who would do pro bono cases.
Joe
… the reason you couldn’t win any more immigration cases was not because of Trump making it harder for you, but because Obama made it easy for you 🤨
… by the way even with Trump in office immigration attorneys are winning cases so I don’t know why you say that you couldn’t win any more.
Diana Shepherd
Hi Joe.
Are you an immigration attorney, or do you perhaps work for Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE)? I am curious about how you know that immigration attorneys are still winning cases — I’d be very interested in reading an unbiased document showing the number of would-be immigrants who applied and the number who were accepted over the last 10-20 years. Without actual facts, there’s no possibility (slight as it may be!) that pro-immigration and anti-immigration U.S. citizens will ever be able to find some common ground — and there’s certainly no possibility of one side convincing the other. So do let me know where you’re getting your facts — this could make an interesting article for Family Lawyer Magazine!
Luis
This is one very depressing post. Sorry, you feel that way. According to your theory of why you are quitting I would say I hope medical Drs don’t feel this way… Seriously? You think you are not good enough? Focusing on the losses….???? Come one 🤔
Emmanuel ugwu
Please I need help for a good family lawyer in texas. My wife and her parents tried to destroy my life they took all I have including out two children after my wife falsely claimed that l stab her with a screw driver and got me arrested. I became homeless after the case ended. I got a job and try to rebuild my life she went and file for child support what should I do?
Thanks
Emmanuel
Diana Shepherd
Hi Emmanuel.
I’m sorry to hear that you have had such a tough divorce. Sometimes, separated or divorced people want to punish their ex-spouse without considering that they are punishing their children at the same time.
I suggest you check with the State Bar of Texas (https://www.texasbar.com/AM/Template.cfm?Section=Public_Home), or with your local city Bar Association to see what help they can offer you. Some lawyers will do pro bono (free) work for deserving clients, and others offer sliding fee scales for financially disadvantaged clients.
There’s also a Professional Directory on Divorce Magazine (https://www.divorcemag.com/directory/) where you can search for lawyers near you, and numerous articles, videos, and podcasts that could provide some helpful information for you.
I hope you find the help you need, Emmanuel.
Joe
Lawyers quit because they are lazy and work for the judges and treat every case the same. They are interested in making money and when they make enough they quit. Some don’t make enough money. Stop working for the judges and change the paperwork required. Get cases that don’t belong in the court system out. Use common sense, don’t hide behind the law. Stop suspending licenses and fix the system. It is a mess of a system.
Cheryl Martone
Please, stop defending illegals because they should not be here!!! Illegal is illegal and should not be here!!!
Tom Willoughby
Amen Jimbo. Robinson mentioned “losing the unwinnable”. What part of illegal is confusing?
Dick Kraske
Being the victim in a personal injury case I was eventually awarded one third of the settlement where the lawyer was awarded 40% plus unbundled expenses. It was a slam dunk case that was litigated by going through the motions without any special effort. I have served on juries, been sued, have sued and have testified in major criminal cases. The defendant blatantly outright lied and my lawyer provided minimal effort, if any, to disprove it. Instead he hired an “expert” that added to the defendant’s deception that the evidence that I had submitted must have been something else discrediting me on the premise that I must have “misremembered(another legal weasel word) the details of being injured The case never went to court however the lawyer got an extra $5000 just for filing.(Read the small print). Filing doesn’t mean actually having to go to court, like paying for the admission and never showing up for the performance. This case was one of the most egregious disgusting examples of substituting morality, honesty and integrity for whatever works. It is an indictment against the legal profession or whatever it calls itself.